Final Grades

My grades are in. I received an A in Information Literacy. I obtained a B- in America and the Enlightenment. I was given a C- in Biology and a C in French. My GPA is a 2.2 my career GPA is a 2.6.

I intend to do much better in French and Biology next semester. General Biology is extremely difficult but I am going to try harder. I did not realize that French III would be so different from French I and II (we could only speak French in class).

I got a Withdrawal from Body Attack because I could not do any of the exercises due to my health. But I did not need the class anyway (I did all of my PE classes, with the exception of Health and Wellness, last year. It was just a fluff class).

Classes and Books needed for Next Semester

This is my schedule for the Spring. Classes start on January 6. I am taking 15 Credits. I will also still be on the Honor Council and hopefully will have a job (if my health permits). Because I do not currently have a job I have not been able to save up money for books. If there is anyone who is willing to help me pay for books I will much appreciate it. These are the classes I am taking and how much each book will cost at the Bookstore on campus. I am willing to rent books from the bookstore if they are allowed and I have given the prices for those books. I have also included the ISBN in case you know of a place where the books are cheaper.

General Biology II- BIO 202 (03)

· Already have books

French IV- FRE 202 (01)

· Sur Le Vif (Audio Program) (w/ 4 CDs) Author :Jarausch Edition:5th
ISBN:9780495809715 $59.50 in bookstore

Western Civilization I- HIS 210 (02)

· Portable Greek Historians Author: Finley

ISBN: 9780140150650 $9.75 rent in bookstore

· Praise of Folly & Other Writings Author: Erasmus

ISBN: 9780393957495 $11.25 used

· GREEK TRAGEDIES VOL I Author: GRENE

ISBN: 9780226307749 $11 used

· Secret Author: Petrarch

ISBN: 9780312154387 $12.50 used

· Divine Comedy (V1:Inferno) Author: Dante

ISBN: 9780142437223 $9.75 used

· Selected Political Speeches Author: Cicero

ISBN: 9780140442144 $7.31 rent in bookstore

· Prince (Intro Viroli) Author: Machiavelli

ISBN: 9780199535699 $5.25 used

Health and Wellness- PER 143 (02)

· Concepts of Fitness & Wellness Author: Corbin

ISBN: 9780073376387 $68.25 used

Introduction to Theatre History- THE 215 (01)

· History of Theatre Author: Brockett Edition: 10^th

ISBN: 9780205511860 $91 Used

· Bedford Intro to Drama Author: Jacobus Edition: 6^th

ISBN: 9780312474881 $52.53 rent in bookstore

· Rabbit Hole Author: Lindsay-Abaire

ISBN: 9780822221548 $7.50 new

The total amount if I get the books from the bookstore is: $345.59.

Dear Body: You are a jerk. Sincerely, Diamond

Well I went to the doctor today. The doctor gave me an ultrasound. We looked on the screen (there is a screen that you can watch as the doctor gives you the ultrasound so you can see what he/she sees) and there is a big image (about the size of a soft ball) of something dark. The last time I was there he thought that it was my bladder. However, after further imaging he could not identify the image. So in the coming weeks I have to go to the hospital to get a CT scan to identify this thing. This is so ridiculous. I dislike my body right now.

Much Better

After the tough week that I had, this past week has been better so far. I spoke to a lot of people who really helped me out. I spoke to President Smith about the situation here and he is helping me and the students become more unified as a school. Of course it will not be perfect (I have come to learn that no one or nothing can be) but at least it can be bearable. I was born a very sensitive person so I get really upset when I hear or see someone saying mean things about someone or something. I know that is something I need to work on. I let things build up until I explode- like last Friday. I apologize if I hurt any one's feelings. It just was a bad week for me. I know that people do not mean to say things that I take as being ignorant. I just felt like the past three weeks had been bash on African Americans. I felt like people thought that it is wrong to be African American. Any way enough with the past. Today I am going to Monticello! Also the movie Inception is playing in the SAC tonight. I am so excited.

Today was a bad day

I and Prisca almost died (thanks to the ice on the stairs that we could not see because of the fog) and things went downhill from there.
I read a comment from a dear friend of mine and it angered me. I LOVE where I come from. The automobile industry is faltering- duh no one can afford to buy a car in this economy. The crime rate is up and our government officials have made ignorant and horrible decisions that made CNN headlines. However, a few rotten apples does not give anyone the right to say that our entire city sucks or make false assumptions about Detroit as a whole or Michigan.
Three forums ago “Service Forum” was about students experiences of travelling abroad and the culture shock of it. How people lived differently. The forum two weeks ago was about Abraham Lincoln and how he was assassinated because he freed the slaves. In this weeks forum he spoke about how the government viewed Mormons as a weird culture. They compared them to Asians and Africans and as a result the Mormons did not allow African American to hold the Priesthood.
Right after that I went to America and the Enlightenment and we spoke about how the philosopher’s views of man and wife did not include Blacks. They were slaves and their “Master” was their father.
My Biology teacher finally gave us our test back and I failed it. It was nothing like the first test. Not only did I fail the lecture test, I also failed the lab test.
At the basketball game there was a Black baby and I got to hold him. He reminded me of my nephew. Then a girl took him from me and would not give him back even though he wanted me and kept putting his arms out to reach for me. She was upset because he did not want her. That was the crappy ending to my day.
No one is unified on this campus. There are two cliques: The Black Non-LDS students. They stick to themselves because the white LDS students judge them. When the laptops got stolen I overheard numerous groups of people saying how they bet the black students had something to do with it. The white Non-LDS students pretend that they are LDS and so the hang out with the white LDS cliques. They are in the “Mormon Bubble” and say ignorant comments like: “Does the African president like basketball because he’s Black”?
Everyday I get to hear about how bad President Barack Obama is. It bothers me; however, when I hear stuff like that is why “some people” should not be president or elected in office period.
My family raised me to love and respect everyone. Especially because of my ancestors and what they had to deal with. One of my closest friends is Hmong. I do not have my family to protect me and help me with this. I just wish that this world will become a better place and that I can learn to take things in stride. However, I doubt this place will get better and I am too sensitive to not have anything affect me.

This past week has been a bit crazy and eventful. School is, well school. I am trying hard to get good grades. I will see how well I am doing in my classes in the next week. For the most part I am struggling in Biology. She is inconsistent on her tests. The first lecture test was full of short and paragraph length answers. There was maybe four words that needed defining. Well this last lecture test had three pages of words that needed defining and only one short and paragraph answer. I had my first lab exam (that covers all of the past labs). She is slow about grading so I will not find out what I got until next Monday or Wednesday she said. She is a wonderful teacher she just makes difficult tests.

I will have my first test in America and the Enlightenment. I am studying hard for her class.

I am doing really well in Information Literacy; although, this new home work assignment is challenging.

I am still trying to get used to speaking French completely in class. It is weird to do everything in French. I love it though.

I really love my Doctrine and Covenants Institute class. I think that it is my favorite. Elder Bastian is amazing. He is serious though, we have a test every day and he does grade us.

I have had some medical problems but I am trying to deal. I am coming back to Detroit for Christmas Break to get it all cleared up.

While praying to Heavenly Father about my pain and all the medical stuff, I felt Him here with me. He told me to start preparing to go on a mission. Well His exact words were "Diamond, you need to go on a mission. Start preparing now."

So that is what I need to do. I talked to the Bishop and he said that before he gives it real consideration, I must get all of my health problems out of the way. I have a meeting with a gynecologist November 10th (Prisca's birthday) I believe. I will then go home for Christmas Break to talk to my gynecologist and other doctors.

I am so extremely happy for the gift of receiving revelation. I am so grateful that my heart and my mind was open so that I could listen. I am so grateful for the priesthood and most importantly, I am grateful that Joseph Smith's heart and mind was open to the Spirit and he was able to receive and act on that revelation.

Could Sundays get any Better?

Sunday was the best Sunday I have had in a while. It was not that special but it made me feel so much better.

Me and Prisca went to church as usual. The lessons were amazing though. In Relief Society (we have our classes backwards) the lesson was about Baptism. We ended with the teacher (Jenna) saying that when we partake of the sacrament and doing baptisms for the dead, we should think about when it is our turn to go to the temple and get endowed. She said that that should always be our goal- the temple. It really got me thinking that I have changed. That is my goal. I have been working on it even more since coming here. I know that what I am doing is right.

The Gospel Principles class was about... eternal marriage. It was a wonderful lesson. Again we talked about the importance of temple marriage. We also spoke about how we should always be worthy of entering the temple. It was pretty fun. I really enjoyed it. I really learned a lot.

After that me and Prisca was home taught. That was so much fun. I love Michael (VMI cadet) and Alex (Freshman football player). They are so much fun. They made fun of Prisca (texting while being taught). But they made her feel comfortable and they made sure to ask her questions. The lesson was about temples; however, they did not make her feel awkward or weird. They really included her.

She is really changing. She is not cussing anymore. She is more confident in herself. She is more happy. But at the same time, she is still her. She is funny and silly. She loves to be on the phone. She is awesome.

After dinner we went to family ward to watch a movie about the building of the Salt Lake Temple. It was amazing. It truly testified to me that the prophets are called of God and that good and wonderful things can come from trials. It reinforced the power of prayer and work. It humbled me and got me thinking about a ton of stuff. It was awesome.

After that we went to "Hymns on the Hill". Students get together to sing hymns in front of Main Hall. I have not done it since last Spring but I really wanted to start back up and Prisca wanted to go to. It was so much fun and so spiritual. It is always great to be around other people singing hymns. I felt the spirit so strongly and enjoyed it so much. It was magnificent. I am so grateful for Sara (a student) for coming up with this idea last year. There is a power that comes from singing hymns.

After that we came home and did roommate devotional. We have been reading from the BOM for a few weeks. We started from the beginning and we are at 2 Nephi 22. We are almost done with the Isaiah chapters. We read about the birth of Christ and the Second Coming. We both got a lot out of it. It was wonderful. We actually went to bed at 11:30 last night; however, I feel like I never slept. But it was an amazing Sunday and I am blessed to have had it and feel the spirit so strongly.

A Wonderfully Amazing Day

Yesterday was truly fun. I have tons of things to be grateful for.

It was fun hanging out with my roommate as usual.

Friday morning we went to breakfast together and just talked about everything.

Forum was simply amazing. The guy spoke about service and how we should acknowledge the little blessings that we have had in our lives. I have had a ton of them. I am grateful for all of them.

I went to my classes and had a ball.

Then I got to talk to my last roommate and her mom. It was fun seeing how well Kaili is and how much her family cares for me.

I am truly blessed.

My roommate also had a fun night and we stayed up until 1 am talking about it. It is a good thing that today is Saturday.

If I was a captain I would say Argh all day

This past few days has been down, up, and then down back again. I am so lucky to have such a great roommate and wonderful Home Teachers because I have been floating on thin ice for the past few weeks. With my PCOS and a blood clot in my left ovary, I have been in a ton of pain and I have a beautiful limp. I am both frustrated and annoyed at my health right now. Because of this I missed a ton of classes and work. My roommate is nice enough to bring me food when I am an in so much pain and talk to me. My Home Teachers (and random guys who are around when I fall from being in so much pain) have given me blessings. I have been messaging one of my home teachers for a few days and he always has something insightful to say.

Monday was so horrible. The Honor Council met with seven students who decided to go on a theft spree during a movie. It was horrible. I cried for like half an hour later and all during it. I just felt so bad for them and for their future. It was so horrible. After that I got sick (from my PCOS and blood clot) that night and just cried myself to bed because I did not want to wake my roommate.

Tuesday me and Prisca went to the Washington D.C. Temple on the school temple trip. It was amazing. I totally felt the Spirit. It was magnificent and gorgeous. I loved it and Prisca did as well. Later on that night I was in a lot of pain and I could not sleep. It was a good thing that I did not have class until 12:30.

Today I was angry and mad. I probably should not be but I just could not take it anymore. I have been trying so hard to just look at the bright side and not think about the bad. But because I was ignoring my feelings everything came out all at once. I lost my job thanks to my health. I failed my first paper test in Biology (D+) that I studied like crazy for and thought I did a good job on. In America and the Enlightenment, they talked about how the English settlers killed all of the Indians (for the better of mankind) and Friday we are talking about African American slavery. Really! Now! Seriously! Why?! I just got so upset. I cannot deal with anymore. I am tired and I want to just give up.

I am suppose to be strong but I am irritated at everything. But I am trying to follow the Prophet. I will be more grateful. I am grateful for my friends, my roommate, my family, the Priesthood, and temples. I am grateful for little acts of miracles- like the awesome message my Home Teacher wrote me and all of the people who helped me get to SVU and for missionaries bringing me the gospel. I am grateful for the plan of salvation and most importantly the Atonement. I am grateful for life.

Feeling Spiritual in a Tough Time

The hospital has been my best friend lately. Not because I want it to be but because I keep going there. I have been there twice in the span of one week. The first time the abscesses under my arm got infected (it is not that serious but it is taking FOREVER to heal) the last time (yesterday) was pretty serious. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it flared up. This was the worst pain it has caused me since being diagnosed with it two years ago. The pain was so severe that a the strongest (and safest) pain pill took three hours to take affect (which normally takes effect almost immediately). It was so severe that I am still limping and was put on bed rest.

However, instead of doing like I normally do (cry) I put my trust in the Lord. Maybe it is because I am reading a book that Hallie gave me (Trusting in the Lord by Elder Holland). Maybe it is because I am fellowshipping my roommate and dealing with my family issues and thus I do not have time to wallow in my misery. Maybe it is because I am forcing myself to do better in school so I have to study. I do not know. All I know is that Christ is here with me, he knows my needs. He knows that I am trying to be a better person, friend, and member.

Yesterday I was given a Priesthood Blessing and everything that I needed to hear was spoken. Today was the Relief Society Broadcast and I was able (although in pain) to walk down the horrible hill to the chapel and listen to the messages that was given. I was able to feel God's love for me so strongly that I know no matter what happens I am His daughter and that will never change. I know that as long as I live righteously I will be with Him again. I know that the sun will somehow shine and this trial will pass.

Tomorrow I have the opportunity to fast. I am so appreciative of Joseph Smith being given the keys to restore the gospel so that I can fast. I am humbled by the thought of it. I love this gospel and the wonderful scriptures. I am able to read verses on how to overcome adversity and trials. I am able to feel the love God has for me. I am happy that I have so many people who care for me and love me. I am grateful for friends and wonderful and meaningful friendships. I am also grateful for Priesthood Blessings and just the Priesthood. How wonderful it is to know that God loves us so much that he gives us men who can comfort and bless us when we need it most. How amazing to know that my name can be put on the Temple Prayer Roll. How amazing to have a temple! How amazing to have the gospel!

Lonely

School has been going good for the most part. I really enjoy my Information Literacy and Body Attack classes. They are so much fun- times goes by pretty fast in there. French is well French but I like it, I am still trying to get back in the rhythm of speaking it (especially since you are not allowed to speak anything else). I love Biology and on my first lab a got a B+. I however, could not manage to get that or better on this last one. I went to the hospital and after hours of being there they finally told me that an abscess had got an infection. The next day was lab and I was in so much pain. I ended up with a D; however, I talked to the professor and she told me that the worst lab grade gets dropped. I do; however, have to study that lab and make sure that I understand it because I will be tested on that stuff on the Lab Test. America and the Enlightenment is not my most favorite class. It deals with the Pre Enlightenment and post Enlightenment era. We read tons of books and discuss them in class. Everyone views the Enlightenment (or the reading) differently so we spend the hour being told that we are wrong.

For the most part I love my classes. Me and Prisca (my roommate) have been getting to know each other. We spend meals together and have Body Attack together as well. She is awesome. We have been meeting with the missionaries. She is afraid of getting baptized because her father does not approve of the church. I am not sure if she will gt baptized but she goes to all of the meetings (even the out of church ones). Yesterday we had our first roommate Devotional. I just flipped through the scriptures and landed on 3Nephi (it ended up being the Matthew chapters) it was great because she did not really want to read the BOM. It turned out well. We even sung "How Great Thou Art" I of course cried but she was nice about it. She said a prayer as well. It was nice. I felt the Spirit.

Now for the name of the post. Last night I was bombarded buy guys (not in a bad way). The guys were friends and they wanted to talk to me (or so I thought). Turns out they wanted to meet Prisca. That was fine. The guy said that he had been trying to talk to her but every time he sees her I am with her and so he wanted to talk to her alone. He went on to say maybe I should be lonely and let her "out". I guess he meant that I should stop hanging out with her all of the time and let her meet other people. I had not noticed that we hung out all the time. Any way it made me sad because he called me lonely. He then asked me if I could bring her down (we were in the Lofts on the first floor). I said OK. They hung out, I came back upstairs.

Some how it got me thinking. Am I lonely? The truth of the matter is yes I am. All of my family and friends are back at home. Yes I have friends here but not true friends. Not the ones that I can talk to forever. Not the ones I can call up at midnight to say I need you. The truth is... I am homesick.

Donations needed

Canned/ Boxed Food Assignment from October11th- November 15th.

My biology teacher (Professor Schramm) has given the class an assignment to donate 15 cans and/or boxes for the Buena Vista Community Share Project Food Bank. The food must be non-perishable such as vegetables, SPAM, fruit, tuna, noodles, rice, macaroni, oatmeal, potatoes, etc.

Because I am a poor college student, I am looking for donations. If you are willing to donate any food please let me know. You can leave it as a comment or email me. Thank you so much.

New school year, new semester, new life, new routine

This past week has been pretty hectic. I have finally started my routine (literally today). This past week I had different work hours and had just started my classes. It all was pretty hazy (and lazy): school, work, internet. There was nothing too special about it all. But this week. This very short week has been the start of the semester.

I now have my classes down (French III, America and the Enlightenment, General Biology, Body Attack, Information Literacy, and Doctrine and Covenants).
My classes are nothing less than interesting. In French we are not allowed to speak English (unless we are talking about a new grammatical concept). America and the Enlightenment books are written by people in the 1700 ( which means they do not speak modern English) sometimes I think we are reading Shakespeare because I do not understand them. We are reading Gulliver's Travels. I just finished reading about a horse eating a cow and how the horse can speak. Exactly it makes no sense, just like Shakespeare. Biology is biology and next semester we will be dissecting a worm (and catching it too). I have not gone to Body Attack (I added it today and class starts tomorrow; however, I hear that the class is all girls (with the exception of the teacher). I look forward to getting into better shape because those stairs are killing me. Information Literacy is actually pretty fun. It is an easy class (if you remember to do the online homework). We only meet once a week. Doctrine and Covenants is... difficult. Elder Bastian tests us every time (but not on the home work assignment but on the book as a whole). For instance, he asked us what section(s) are not revelations? I have no idea but I do know that the sections that you assigned for homework (1-10) are all revelations. Over all; however, I love my classes.

Tomorrow will be the first Honor Council meeting. I do not think that we have any problem with the students (although some girls are getting on my nerves- I am tired of asking girls to go change their top) but nothing too serious has happened. It's more of a get to know how Honor Council really works and how to have a Honor Meeting (when someone is sent to us for an honor violation).

I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Friday night; and Saturday lunner (2-5; lunch/dinner time). Too bad that all the soccer games are Saturday at 2 or 3 for the next 3 weeks. But I do have more hours now (12) last week I only had 6. The 12 hours a week are final. I am allowed to pick up 1 extra 3 hour shift if someone needs to be covered. That is cool.

Me and my roommate are getting along well. She is funny. She is a bit different than me though. She cusses and says OMG a ton. She can be pretty loud. But overall she is cool. She has agreed to meet with the missionaries! and I get to fellowship her. If anyone knows what that means let me know. Speaking of missionaries I am emailing one. His name is Sam ( I met him my freshmen year). He left for his Argentina mission in April (some how that place has surrounded my life a lot). Mike's (my first branch president) mission was in Argentina; the first counselor in my very first ward served his mission in Argentina and his wife is from there; and now Sam. Any way I started really writing him a few weeks ago but he is awesome and he has told me that he is glad that I wrote. He is a sweetheart. He was the first guy (when I started SVU) to cry in church and I thought he was so cool. He worked in Jonzzey's (school owned cafe) and we always talked (and got in trouble). Any way I think I have updated you all. Hopefully you are not bored to death.

If only for a moment

I now have time to give you all an update of the past few days since coming back to SVU.

Friday:
I finished packing and really got to know Prisca (my roommate). She is funny and so outgoing. The school had a concert given to us by a guy name Jeremy Hoop (he is pretty good). After that we watched Iron Man in the SAC as a student body. It was awesome. I met tons of new students. On the first floor there are four freshmen to a room (we have 300 freshmen and 750 students in all). I live on the second floor. Me and Prisca stayed up all night talking.

Saturday:
Me and my friends hung out. That morning was Rise Up for Honor (RUFH). I said the opening prayer. We went to downtown BV for the Battle of the Bands where I had a snow cone for the first time. Me and Prisca had dinner at Elora's house. I worked the Dress and Grooming (DAG) table for the first time (as part of my Honor Senator duties) during the Stop Light Dance. When I was done I got to dance with my girls and meet some cute guys.

Sunday:
Me and Prisca went to church. During lunch we met more cute guys. Me and Prisca started our own language ( turn boy names into girl names and girl names into boy names). We had dinner and then Elora gave me a surprise birthday party. There were about seven girls and two guys. It was fun. We played games and ate different kinds of bread products. Elora made me a chocolate cake and an ice cream punch. After that we rushed to the Single Adult Fireside and still managed to get good seats. Prisca has been very nice and willing to go to all of the church activities. Adam (aka Ashley) gave his rendition of my favorite hymn (A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief). We reararnged our room and created the Quote Wall. Prisca wants to be roommates the summer and next year. I am so excited.

Monday:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. Many people wished me a happy birthday. I worked the dinner shift and then was surprised by Kim when she made me a cake. My room was heart attacked as well. Then we cleaned up the room for roomchecks and then found out that roomchecks is not until today.

Today:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. I did some Honor Senator work. And now I am about to start on homework before my 11 am Institute (D and C) class. Then me and Prisca are having lunch before her next class. Then I a doing more homework before Information Literacy.

For the love of SVU

As most of you know, the past three or four months of my life were not so good. However, things began looking up two weeks ago. After Hallie and Julie surprised me and came to visit me, everything seemed to go right. I finally got to SVU yesterday and things have been great every since.

First, I have an amazing roommate by the name of Amevi (Prisca). She was born in South Africa (Togo) but now resides in Maryland. She is so wonderful. We get along great. She likes my friends and we can talk about anything. She is not LDS; however, she believes in God and is spiritual.

Second, I got a huge surprise today. My friend Kimberly has a new computer and is letting me borrow her old one for the school year! I am so excited. Right now it hates me but I am hoping that it will warm up to me.

Third, today was a wonderful day. I got to hang out with my friends and roommate. We had breakfast, lunch , and dinner. There was a luau for dinner and tons of stuff to do (I won a Tshirt).We went to the boys soccer game (we won).

They are throwing me a surprise birthday party Sunday. I love my friends and my school.

The Climb

Things have gotten so out of control that I closed myself up to everyone. After a two month hiatus from the world (and four months from blogspot) I am ready to face everything and everyone. A painful recap would consist of arguments, joblessness, anger, hurt, parents drug habits, not going to church, depression, and a loss of self worth and self esteem.

I almost died from the pain of not understanding. The thing is I saw this coming when I was at school. I knew that when I came back I would end up staying- maybe this was all my fault. Either way, I ended up the last place that I wanted to be- depressed and angry. I could not talk to anyone because to me it was my fault and my parents raised me to be self reliant. I did not know who to talk to or where to go.

I had hit rock bottom when out of nowhere two angels appeared on my doorstep- Hallie and Julie. I had given up on going back to college because I could not afford it and had no way of getting there. The reason I came home was to get a summer job, yet every door I knocked on and every resume I sent out kept getting rejected. I was jobless and now depressed. Even though I had long since gave up on myself, they did not.

So many people have helped me out since. Hallie has spent her own money to pay for school supplies and is driving me back to school. Deseret Industries is paying for my books. Hallie's neighbor Dawn helped me find an Internal Medicine Doctor to help with my psoriasis and is paying for me some sneakers and church shoes. People in my branch are giving me money to buy necessities. I am so grateful for everyone.

The title of this post is rightfully named. Although I dislike Miley Cyrus, this song is about getting out and finding yourself.

This blog has been renamed so everyone who is helping/ has helped me can see my progress. I will not let anyone down. I will try my hardest to get through this (drama) and make something out of myself. I will not be another statistic (black girl from Detroit working a minimum wage job with 3 children and 3 baby fathers). I intend to show my family and the world who I can be. I will never forget the kindheartedness of so many people. I will pay-it-forward when I can.

A Trying Time

I must admit that I was not able to get as much out of General Conference as I had hoped. Maybe it was because of all the drama that has surrounded me or simply the fact that I was unable to really get in the "mind-set" for General Conference. I did enjoy a few talks; however, none of them answered the questions that I need answered. I went to General Conference with three HUGE questions and not one was brought up. I do know that Heavenly Father loves me and will eventually answer them; however, I only have three weeks before school is over.

Yesterday I had the worst night of my life and there was noone to help me. Of course I did not ask for help (granted it was 10pm and I was not going to wake some one up). My roommate was skyping someone so I could not ask for her advice. It does not matter anyway because there is nothing that she would have been able to do. I do not have any minutes on my phone so I could not phone anyone.


After crying my eyes out and saying a heartfelt and teary-eyed prayer, I managed to pull my together and go to the library. I was able to read my Patriarchal Blessing and my notes from General Conference. It really did help me out. I was able to feel Heavenly Father's love for. I know that He knows who I am and what I am going through. He will show me the right way and will help me to feel loved and appreciated in my family. He will guide me to the right direction and will show me what I need to do. I will have a place to stay this summer and I will be able to get a job so that I can pay the $1800 that I owe for the fall semester. I will forgive my family and not be so angry at them. I know that everything will work out. It has to.

The life of a college student

I apologize for not posting in a while things have been forever hectic. Let's see the last two months of my life have been pretty great. I have had fun being in the Relief Society Presidency (secretary). I did not think that I would be in the Relief Society Presidency after being baptized a year before. It was awesome thought. I enjoy getting to know the girls and taking notes. It has been a little stressful trying to get to know ALL of the girls and learning what we can do to meet all of their needs. However, I do enjoy it. I love my bishopric. They are fantastic! It is weird getting to hang out with them outside of church (in school). I have a pretty fun bishopric. I officially have my Patriarchal Blessing (paper form). It is so vague to me right now; however, I am glad that I have it.
I am taking some pretty fun classes. I know a little bit of french and hope to one day use it. I love my philosophy class: it has opened my eyes to other people's views. I am tired of math, I am having such a hard time and cannot wait until it is over. I enjoy strength training, although, I am not enjoying our new work-out.
Personally I am learning more about myself and my decisions. I have been reading and pondering my scriptures in hopes of finding out something that I need to know (I have had no such luck on finding an answer yet). I have been praying daily and I love it. I am meeting new people and getting to know them. I am on the Honor Revision committee and hopefully we had our last meeting. It is stressful trying to find the best policies to help the students feel more empowered and yet still protect the school.
It has been nice to get out of my shell and explore. Our sports teams are awesome and you know me, I have to go to all of the games and support them. I am sad that basketball is over; however, Lacrosse is here and...scary! But I love them anyway. Our sports teams are talented and at the same time approachable. I have classes with a few sports players and they are actually intelligent. There are a few baseball players in my philosophy class and they are funny and intelligent. Sometimes it is hard to find players like that, but not here.
I love the Fine Arts programs here. Chamber Choir and Orchestra never ceases to amaze me. Our theatre department is also fantastic. The theatre put on a show "Rhinoceros" it is an absurd translated version of the french play. It was scary for me (face paint); however, it was pretty good.
I love all of the ways that the school tries to get the students involved in things- student government (including Honor Council); athletics (intramural- one of these days I will find time to attend); and clubs (philosophy, management society, pre-med, and pre-law).
I enjoy it here. However, I do miss home very much. I am sad that I do not get to go home for Spring Break; however, I know that I will eventually get to see my Detroit again. I hated the fall here, it was so ugly compared to the beautiful autumn leaves in Detroit. I never missed orange, red, and yellow so much in my life. I miss the good Detroit snow. Not the hard and unappealing Virginia snow. I miss my family and my friends. I especially miss my nephew, Shaunny Poo, he is almost completely potty trained and now my little nephew Sylvester ( my family has yet to find a nickname that suites him) is almost walking.
I am trying very hard to do well in my classes. I am doing good in Philosophy (Leader-Servant and Strength Training does not count); however, I can be doing better in math and French. I have not been studying as hard as a could be and it has come to bite me.
I have made some really great friends. My best friend here is Elora. She is so bubbly (like Shay) and she is just amazing. I have had a few crushes here and there (that is putting it lightly); however, I am not in the right place in my life to do anything about it. However, I am content for now.