The hospital has been my best friend lately. Not because I want it to be but because I keep going there. I have been there twice in the span of one week. The first time the abscesses under my arm got infected (it is not that serious but it is taking FOREVER to heal) the last time (yesterday) was pretty serious. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it flared up. This was the worst pain it has caused me since being diagnosed with it two years ago. The pain was so severe that a the strongest (and safest) pain pill took three hours to take affect (which normally takes effect almost immediately). It was so severe that I am still limping and was put on bed rest.
However, instead of doing like I normally do (cry) I put my trust in the Lord. Maybe it is because I am reading a book that Hallie gave me (Trusting in the Lord by Elder Holland). Maybe it is because I am fellowshipping my roommate and dealing with my family issues and thus I do not have time to wallow in my misery. Maybe it is because I am forcing myself to do better in school so I have to study. I do not know. All I know is that Christ is here with me, he knows my needs. He knows that I am trying to be a better person, friend, and member.
Yesterday I was given a Priesthood Blessing and everything that I needed to hear was spoken. Today was the Relief Society Broadcast and I was able (although in pain) to walk down the horrible hill to the chapel and listen to the messages that was given. I was able to feel God's love for me so strongly that I know no matter what happens I am His daughter and that will never change. I know that as long as I live righteously I will be with Him again. I know that the sun will somehow shine and this trial will pass.
Tomorrow I have the opportunity to fast. I am so appreciative of Joseph Smith being given the keys to restore the gospel so that I can fast. I am humbled by the thought of it. I love this gospel and the wonderful scriptures. I am able to read verses on how to overcome adversity and trials. I am able to feel the love God has for me. I am happy that I have so many people who care for me and love me. I am grateful for friends and wonderful and meaningful friendships. I am also grateful for Priesthood Blessings and just the Priesthood. How wonderful it is to know that God loves us so much that he gives us men who can comfort and bless us when we need it most. How amazing to know that my name can be put on the Temple Prayer Roll. How amazing to have a temple! How amazing to have the gospel!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Lonely
School has been going good for the most part. I really enjoy my Information Literacy and Body Attack classes. They are so much fun- times goes by pretty fast in there. French is well French but I like it, I am still trying to get back in the rhythm of speaking it (especially since you are not allowed to speak anything else). I love Biology and on my first lab a got a B+. I however, could not manage to get that or better on this last one. I went to the hospital and after hours of being there they finally told me that an abscess had got an infection. The next day was lab and I was in so much pain. I ended up with a D; however, I talked to the professor and she told me that the worst lab grade gets dropped. I do; however, have to study that lab and make sure that I understand it because I will be tested on that stuff on the Lab Test. America and the Enlightenment is not my most favorite class. It deals with the Pre Enlightenment and post Enlightenment era. We read tons of books and discuss them in class. Everyone views the Enlightenment (or the reading) differently so we spend the hour being told that we are wrong.
For the most part I love my classes. Me and Prisca (my roommate) have been getting to know each other. We spend meals together and have Body Attack together as well. She is awesome. We have been meeting with the missionaries. She is afraid of getting baptized because her father does not approve of the church. I am not sure if she will gt baptized but she goes to all of the meetings (even the out of church ones). Yesterday we had our first roommate Devotional. I just flipped through the scriptures and landed on 3Nephi (it ended up being the Matthew chapters) it was great because she did not really want to read the BOM. It turned out well. We even sung "How Great Thou Art" I of course cried but she was nice about it. She said a prayer as well. It was nice. I felt the Spirit.
Now for the name of the post. Last night I was bombarded buy guys (not in a bad way). The guys were friends and they wanted to talk to me (or so I thought). Turns out they wanted to meet Prisca. That was fine. The guy said that he had been trying to talk to her but every time he sees her I am with her and so he wanted to talk to her alone. He went on to say maybe I should be lonely and let her "out". I guess he meant that I should stop hanging out with her all of the time and let her meet other people. I had not noticed that we hung out all the time. Any way it made me sad because he called me lonely. He then asked me if I could bring her down (we were in the Lofts on the first floor). I said OK. They hung out, I came back upstairs.
Some how it got me thinking. Am I lonely? The truth of the matter is yes I am. All of my family and friends are back at home. Yes I have friends here but not true friends. Not the ones that I can talk to forever. Not the ones I can call up at midnight to say I need you. The truth is... I am homesick.
For the most part I love my classes. Me and Prisca (my roommate) have been getting to know each other. We spend meals together and have Body Attack together as well. She is awesome. We have been meeting with the missionaries. She is afraid of getting baptized because her father does not approve of the church. I am not sure if she will gt baptized but she goes to all of the meetings (even the out of church ones). Yesterday we had our first roommate Devotional. I just flipped through the scriptures and landed on 3Nephi (it ended up being the Matthew chapters) it was great because she did not really want to read the BOM. It turned out well. We even sung "How Great Thou Art" I of course cried but she was nice about it. She said a prayer as well. It was nice. I felt the Spirit.
Now for the name of the post. Last night I was bombarded buy guys (not in a bad way). The guys were friends and they wanted to talk to me (or so I thought). Turns out they wanted to meet Prisca. That was fine. The guy said that he had been trying to talk to her but every time he sees her I am with her and so he wanted to talk to her alone. He went on to say maybe I should be lonely and let her "out". I guess he meant that I should stop hanging out with her all of the time and let her meet other people. I had not noticed that we hung out all the time. Any way it made me sad because he called me lonely. He then asked me if I could bring her down (we were in the Lofts on the first floor). I said OK. They hung out, I came back upstairs.
Some how it got me thinking. Am I lonely? The truth of the matter is yes I am. All of my family and friends are back at home. Yes I have friends here but not true friends. Not the ones that I can talk to forever. Not the ones I can call up at midnight to say I need you. The truth is... I am homesick.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Donations needed
Canned/ Boxed Food Assignment from October11th- November 15th.
My biology teacher (Professor Schramm) has given the class an assignment to donate 15 cans and/or boxes for the Buena Vista Community Share Project Food Bank. The food must be non-perishable such as vegetables, SPAM, fruit, tuna, noodles, rice, macaroni, oatmeal, potatoes, etc.
Because I am a poor college student, I am looking for donations. If you are willing to donate any food please let me know. You can leave it as a comment or email me. Thank you so much.
My biology teacher (Professor Schramm) has given the class an assignment to donate 15 cans and/or boxes for the Buena Vista Community Share Project Food Bank. The food must be non-perishable such as vegetables, SPAM, fruit, tuna, noodles, rice, macaroni, oatmeal, potatoes, etc.
Because I am a poor college student, I am looking for donations. If you are willing to donate any food please let me know. You can leave it as a comment or email me. Thank you so much.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
New school year, new semester, new life, new routine
This past week has been pretty hectic. I have finally started my routine (literally today). This past week I had different work hours and had just started my classes. It all was pretty hazy (and lazy): school, work, internet. There was nothing too special about it all. But this week. This very short week has been the start of the semester.
I now have my classes down (French III, America and the Enlightenment, General Biology, Body Attack, Information Literacy, and Doctrine and Covenants).
My classes are nothing less than interesting. In French we are not allowed to speak English (unless we are talking about a new grammatical concept). America and the Enlightenment books are written by people in the 1700 ( which means they do not speak modern English) sometimes I think we are reading Shakespeare because I do not understand them. We are reading Gulliver's Travels. I just finished reading about a horse eating a cow and how the horse can speak. Exactly it makes no sense, just like Shakespeare. Biology is biology and next semester we will be dissecting a worm (and catching it too). I have not gone to Body Attack (I added it today and class starts tomorrow; however, I hear that the class is all girls (with the exception of the teacher). I look forward to getting into better shape because those stairs are killing me. Information Literacy is actually pretty fun. It is an easy class (if you remember to do the online homework). We only meet once a week. Doctrine and Covenants is... difficult. Elder Bastian tests us every time (but not on the home work assignment but on the book as a whole). For instance, he asked us what section(s) are not revelations? I have no idea but I do know that the sections that you assigned for homework (1-10) are all revelations. Over all; however, I love my classes.
Tomorrow will be the first Honor Council meeting. I do not think that we have any problem with the students (although some girls are getting on my nerves- I am tired of asking girls to go change their top) but nothing too serious has happened. It's more of a get to know how Honor Council really works and how to have a Honor Meeting (when someone is sent to us for an honor violation).
I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Friday night; and Saturday lunner (2-5; lunch/dinner time). Too bad that all the soccer games are Saturday at 2 or 3 for the next 3 weeks. But I do have more hours now (12) last week I only had 6. The 12 hours a week are final. I am allowed to pick up 1 extra 3 hour shift if someone needs to be covered. That is cool.
Me and my roommate are getting along well. She is funny. She is a bit different than me though. She cusses and says OMG a ton. She can be pretty loud. But overall she is cool. She has agreed to meet with the missionaries! and I get to fellowship her. If anyone knows what that means let me know. Speaking of missionaries I am emailing one. His name is Sam ( I met him my freshmen year). He left for his Argentina mission in April (some how that place has surrounded my life a lot). Mike's (my first branch president) mission was in Argentina; the first counselor in my very first ward served his mission in Argentina and his wife is from there; and now Sam. Any way I started really writing him a few weeks ago but he is awesome and he has told me that he is glad that I wrote. He is a sweetheart. He was the first guy (when I started SVU) to cry in church and I thought he was so cool. He worked in Jonzzey's (school owned cafe) and we always talked (and got in trouble). Any way I think I have updated you all. Hopefully you are not bored to death.
I now have my classes down (French III, America and the Enlightenment, General Biology, Body Attack, Information Literacy, and Doctrine and Covenants).
My classes are nothing less than interesting. In French we are not allowed to speak English (unless we are talking about a new grammatical concept). America and the Enlightenment books are written by people in the 1700 ( which means they do not speak modern English) sometimes I think we are reading Shakespeare because I do not understand them. We are reading Gulliver's Travels. I just finished reading about a horse eating a cow and how the horse can speak. Exactly it makes no sense, just like Shakespeare. Biology is biology and next semester we will be dissecting a worm (and catching it too). I have not gone to Body Attack (I added it today and class starts tomorrow; however, I hear that the class is all girls (with the exception of the teacher). I look forward to getting into better shape because those stairs are killing me. Information Literacy is actually pretty fun. It is an easy class (if you remember to do the online homework). We only meet once a week. Doctrine and Covenants is... difficult. Elder Bastian tests us every time (but not on the home work assignment but on the book as a whole). For instance, he asked us what section(s) are not revelations? I have no idea but I do know that the sections that you assigned for homework (1-10) are all revelations. Over all; however, I love my classes.
Tomorrow will be the first Honor Council meeting. I do not think that we have any problem with the students (although some girls are getting on my nerves- I am tired of asking girls to go change their top) but nothing too serious has happened. It's more of a get to know how Honor Council really works and how to have a Honor Meeting (when someone is sent to us for an honor violation).
I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Friday night; and Saturday lunner (2-5; lunch/dinner time). Too bad that all the soccer games are Saturday at 2 or 3 for the next 3 weeks. But I do have more hours now (12) last week I only had 6. The 12 hours a week are final. I am allowed to pick up 1 extra 3 hour shift if someone needs to be covered. That is cool.
Me and my roommate are getting along well. She is funny. She is a bit different than me though. She cusses and says OMG a ton. She can be pretty loud. But overall she is cool. She has agreed to meet with the missionaries! and I get to fellowship her. If anyone knows what that means let me know. Speaking of missionaries I am emailing one. His name is Sam ( I met him my freshmen year). He left for his Argentina mission in April (some how that place has surrounded my life a lot). Mike's (my first branch president) mission was in Argentina; the first counselor in my very first ward served his mission in Argentina and his wife is from there; and now Sam. Any way I started really writing him a few weeks ago but he is awesome and he has told me that he is glad that I wrote. He is a sweetheart. He was the first guy (when I started SVU) to cry in church and I thought he was so cool. He worked in Jonzzey's (school owned cafe) and we always talked (and got in trouble). Any way I think I have updated you all. Hopefully you are not bored to death.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
If only for a moment
I now have time to give you all an update of the past few days since coming back to SVU.
Friday:
I finished packing and really got to know Prisca (my roommate). She is funny and so outgoing. The school had a concert given to us by a guy name Jeremy Hoop (he is pretty good). After that we watched Iron Man in the SAC as a student body. It was awesome. I met tons of new students. On the first floor there are four freshmen to a room (we have 300 freshmen and 750 students in all). I live on the second floor. Me and Prisca stayed up all night talking.
Saturday:
Me and my friends hung out. That morning was Rise Up for Honor (RUFH). I said the opening prayer. We went to downtown BV for the Battle of the Bands where I had a snow cone for the first time. Me and Prisca had dinner at Elora's house. I worked the Dress and Grooming (DAG) table for the first time (as part of my Honor Senator duties) during the Stop Light Dance. When I was done I got to dance with my girls and meet some cute guys.
Sunday:
Me and Prisca went to church. During lunch we met more cute guys. Me and Prisca started our own language ( turn boy names into girl names and girl names into boy names). We had dinner and then Elora gave me a surprise birthday party. There were about seven girls and two guys. It was fun. We played games and ate different kinds of bread products. Elora made me a chocolate cake and an ice cream punch. After that we rushed to the Single Adult Fireside and still managed to get good seats. Prisca has been very nice and willing to go to all of the church activities. Adam (aka Ashley) gave his rendition of my favorite hymn (A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief). We reararnged our room and created the Quote Wall. Prisca wants to be roommates the summer and next year. I am so excited.
Monday:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. Many people wished me a happy birthday. I worked the dinner shift and then was surprised by Kim when she made me a cake. My room was heart attacked as well. Then we cleaned up the room for roomchecks and then found out that roomchecks is not until today.
Today:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. I did some Honor Senator work. And now I am about to start on homework before my 11 am Institute (D and C) class. Then me and Prisca are having lunch before her next class. Then I a doing more homework before Information Literacy.
Friday:
I finished packing and really got to know Prisca (my roommate). She is funny and so outgoing. The school had a concert given to us by a guy name Jeremy Hoop (he is pretty good). After that we watched Iron Man in the SAC as a student body. It was awesome. I met tons of new students. On the first floor there are four freshmen to a room (we have 300 freshmen and 750 students in all). I live on the second floor. Me and Prisca stayed up all night talking.
Saturday:
Me and my friends hung out. That morning was Rise Up for Honor (RUFH). I said the opening prayer. We went to downtown BV for the Battle of the Bands where I had a snow cone for the first time. Me and Prisca had dinner at Elora's house. I worked the Dress and Grooming (DAG) table for the first time (as part of my Honor Senator duties) during the Stop Light Dance. When I was done I got to dance with my girls and meet some cute guys.
Sunday:
Me and Prisca went to church. During lunch we met more cute guys. Me and Prisca started our own language ( turn boy names into girl names and girl names into boy names). We had dinner and then Elora gave me a surprise birthday party. There were about seven girls and two guys. It was fun. We played games and ate different kinds of bread products. Elora made me a chocolate cake and an ice cream punch. After that we rushed to the Single Adult Fireside and still managed to get good seats. Prisca has been very nice and willing to go to all of the church activities. Adam (aka Ashley) gave his rendition of my favorite hymn (A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief). We reararnged our room and created the Quote Wall. Prisca wants to be roommates the summer and next year. I am so excited.
Monday:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. Many people wished me a happy birthday. I worked the dinner shift and then was surprised by Kim when she made me a cake. My room was heart attacked as well. Then we cleaned up the room for roomchecks and then found out that roomchecks is not until today.
Today:
Me and Prisca had breakfast before class. I did some Honor Senator work. And now I am about to start on homework before my 11 am Institute (D and C) class. Then me and Prisca are having lunch before her next class. Then I a doing more homework before Information Literacy.
Friday, August 27, 2010
For the love of SVU
As most of you know, the past three or four months of my life were not so good. However, things began looking up two weeks ago. After Hallie and Julie surprised me and came to visit me, everything seemed to go right. I finally got to SVU yesterday and things have been great every since.
First, I have an amazing roommate by the name of Amevi (Prisca). She was born in South Africa (Togo) but now resides in Maryland. She is so wonderful. We get along great. She likes my friends and we can talk about anything. She is not LDS; however, she believes in God and is spiritual.
Second, I got a huge surprise today. My friend Kimberly has a new computer and is letting me borrow her old one for the school year! I am so excited. Right now it hates me but I am hoping that it will warm up to me.
Third, today was a wonderful day. I got to hang out with my friends and roommate. We had breakfast, lunch , and dinner. There was a luau for dinner and tons of stuff to do (I won a Tshirt).We went to the boys soccer game (we won).
They are throwing me a surprise birthday party Sunday. I love my friends and my school.
First, I have an amazing roommate by the name of Amevi (Prisca). She was born in South Africa (Togo) but now resides in Maryland. She is so wonderful. We get along great. She likes my friends and we can talk about anything. She is not LDS; however, she believes in God and is spiritual.
Second, I got a huge surprise today. My friend Kimberly has a new computer and is letting me borrow her old one for the school year! I am so excited. Right now it hates me but I am hoping that it will warm up to me.
Third, today was a wonderful day. I got to hang out with my friends and roommate. We had breakfast, lunch , and dinner. There was a luau for dinner and tons of stuff to do (I won a Tshirt).We went to the boys soccer game (we won).
They are throwing me a surprise birthday party Sunday. I love my friends and my school.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The Climb
Things have gotten so out of control that I closed myself up to everyone. After a two month hiatus from the world (and four months from blogspot) I am ready to face everything and everyone. A painful recap would consist of arguments, joblessness, anger, hurt, parents drug habits, not going to church, depression, and a loss of self worth and self esteem.
I almost died from the pain of not understanding. The thing is I saw this coming when I was at school. I knew that when I came back I would end up staying- maybe this was all my fault. Either way, I ended up the last place that I wanted to be- depressed and angry. I could not talk to anyone because to me it was my fault and my parents raised me to be self reliant. I did not know who to talk to or where to go.
I had hit rock bottom when out of nowhere two angels appeared on my doorstep- Hallie and Julie. I had given up on going back to college because I could not afford it and had no way of getting there. The reason I came home was to get a summer job, yet every door I knocked on and every resume I sent out kept getting rejected. I was jobless and now depressed. Even though I had long since gave up on myself, they did not.
So many people have helped me out since. Hallie has spent her own money to pay for school supplies and is driving me back to school. Deseret Industries is paying for my books. Hallie's neighbor Dawn helped me find an Internal Medicine Doctor to help with my psoriasis and is paying for me some sneakers and church shoes. People in my branch are giving me money to buy necessities. I am so grateful for everyone.
The title of this post is rightfully named. Although I dislike Miley Cyrus, this song is about getting out and finding yourself.
This blog has been renamed so everyone who is helping/ has helped me can see my progress. I will not let anyone down. I will try my hardest to get through this (drama) and make something out of myself. I will not be another statistic (black girl from Detroit working a minimum wage job with 3 children and 3 baby fathers). I intend to show my family and the world who I can be. I will never forget the kindheartedness of so many people. I will pay-it-forward when I can.
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