Dear Body: You are a jerk. Sincerely, Diamond

Well I went to the doctor today. The doctor gave me an ultrasound. We looked on the screen (there is a screen that you can watch as the doctor gives you the ultrasound so you can see what he/she sees) and there is a big image (about the size of a soft ball) of something dark. The last time I was there he thought that it was my bladder. However, after further imaging he could not identify the image. So in the coming weeks I have to go to the hospital to get a CT scan to identify this thing. This is so ridiculous. I dislike my body right now.

Much Better

After the tough week that I had, this past week has been better so far. I spoke to a lot of people who really helped me out. I spoke to President Smith about the situation here and he is helping me and the students become more unified as a school. Of course it will not be perfect (I have come to learn that no one or nothing can be) but at least it can be bearable. I was born a very sensitive person so I get really upset when I hear or see someone saying mean things about someone or something. I know that is something I need to work on. I let things build up until I explode- like last Friday. I apologize if I hurt any one's feelings. It just was a bad week for me. I know that people do not mean to say things that I take as being ignorant. I just felt like the past three weeks had been bash on African Americans. I felt like people thought that it is wrong to be African American. Any way enough with the past. Today I am going to Monticello! Also the movie Inception is playing in the SAC tonight. I am so excited.

Today was a bad day

I and Prisca almost died (thanks to the ice on the stairs that we could not see because of the fog) and things went downhill from there.
I read a comment from a dear friend of mine and it angered me. I LOVE where I come from. The automobile industry is faltering- duh no one can afford to buy a car in this economy. The crime rate is up and our government officials have made ignorant and horrible decisions that made CNN headlines. However, a few rotten apples does not give anyone the right to say that our entire city sucks or make false assumptions about Detroit as a whole or Michigan.
Three forums ago “Service Forum” was about students experiences of travelling abroad and the culture shock of it. How people lived differently. The forum two weeks ago was about Abraham Lincoln and how he was assassinated because he freed the slaves. In this weeks forum he spoke about how the government viewed Mormons as a weird culture. They compared them to Asians and Africans and as a result the Mormons did not allow African American to hold the Priesthood.
Right after that I went to America and the Enlightenment and we spoke about how the philosopher’s views of man and wife did not include Blacks. They were slaves and their “Master” was their father.
My Biology teacher finally gave us our test back and I failed it. It was nothing like the first test. Not only did I fail the lecture test, I also failed the lab test.
At the basketball game there was a Black baby and I got to hold him. He reminded me of my nephew. Then a girl took him from me and would not give him back even though he wanted me and kept putting his arms out to reach for me. She was upset because he did not want her. That was the crappy ending to my day.
No one is unified on this campus. There are two cliques: The Black Non-LDS students. They stick to themselves because the white LDS students judge them. When the laptops got stolen I overheard numerous groups of people saying how they bet the black students had something to do with it. The white Non-LDS students pretend that they are LDS and so the hang out with the white LDS cliques. They are in the “Mormon Bubble” and say ignorant comments like: “Does the African president like basketball because he’s Black”?
Everyday I get to hear about how bad President Barack Obama is. It bothers me; however, when I hear stuff like that is why “some people” should not be president or elected in office period.
My family raised me to love and respect everyone. Especially because of my ancestors and what they had to deal with. One of my closest friends is Hmong. I do not have my family to protect me and help me with this. I just wish that this world will become a better place and that I can learn to take things in stride. However, I doubt this place will get better and I am too sensitive to not have anything affect me.

This past week has been a bit crazy and eventful. School is, well school. I am trying hard to get good grades. I will see how well I am doing in my classes in the next week. For the most part I am struggling in Biology. She is inconsistent on her tests. The first lecture test was full of short and paragraph length answers. There was maybe four words that needed defining. Well this last lecture test had three pages of words that needed defining and only one short and paragraph answer. I had my first lab exam (that covers all of the past labs). She is slow about grading so I will not find out what I got until next Monday or Wednesday she said. She is a wonderful teacher she just makes difficult tests.

I will have my first test in America and the Enlightenment. I am studying hard for her class.

I am doing really well in Information Literacy; although, this new home work assignment is challenging.

I am still trying to get used to speaking French completely in class. It is weird to do everything in French. I love it though.

I really love my Doctrine and Covenants Institute class. I think that it is my favorite. Elder Bastian is amazing. He is serious though, we have a test every day and he does grade us.

I have had some medical problems but I am trying to deal. I am coming back to Detroit for Christmas Break to get it all cleared up.

While praying to Heavenly Father about my pain and all the medical stuff, I felt Him here with me. He told me to start preparing to go on a mission. Well His exact words were "Diamond, you need to go on a mission. Start preparing now."

So that is what I need to do. I talked to the Bishop and he said that before he gives it real consideration, I must get all of my health problems out of the way. I have a meeting with a gynecologist November 10th (Prisca's birthday) I believe. I will then go home for Christmas Break to talk to my gynecologist and other doctors.

I am so extremely happy for the gift of receiving revelation. I am so grateful that my heart and my mind was open so that I could listen. I am so grateful for the priesthood and most importantly, I am grateful that Joseph Smith's heart and mind was open to the Spirit and he was able to receive and act on that revelation.

Could Sundays get any Better?

Sunday was the best Sunday I have had in a while. It was not that special but it made me feel so much better.

Me and Prisca went to church as usual. The lessons were amazing though. In Relief Society (we have our classes backwards) the lesson was about Baptism. We ended with the teacher (Jenna) saying that when we partake of the sacrament and doing baptisms for the dead, we should think about when it is our turn to go to the temple and get endowed. She said that that should always be our goal- the temple. It really got me thinking that I have changed. That is my goal. I have been working on it even more since coming here. I know that what I am doing is right.

The Gospel Principles class was about... eternal marriage. It was a wonderful lesson. Again we talked about the importance of temple marriage. We also spoke about how we should always be worthy of entering the temple. It was pretty fun. I really enjoyed it. I really learned a lot.

After that me and Prisca was home taught. That was so much fun. I love Michael (VMI cadet) and Alex (Freshman football player). They are so much fun. They made fun of Prisca (texting while being taught). But they made her feel comfortable and they made sure to ask her questions. The lesson was about temples; however, they did not make her feel awkward or weird. They really included her.

She is really changing. She is not cussing anymore. She is more confident in herself. She is more happy. But at the same time, she is still her. She is funny and silly. She loves to be on the phone. She is awesome.

After dinner we went to family ward to watch a movie about the building of the Salt Lake Temple. It was amazing. It truly testified to me that the prophets are called of God and that good and wonderful things can come from trials. It reinforced the power of prayer and work. It humbled me and got me thinking about a ton of stuff. It was awesome.

After that we went to "Hymns on the Hill". Students get together to sing hymns in front of Main Hall. I have not done it since last Spring but I really wanted to start back up and Prisca wanted to go to. It was so much fun and so spiritual. It is always great to be around other people singing hymns. I felt the spirit so strongly and enjoyed it so much. It was magnificent. I am so grateful for Sara (a student) for coming up with this idea last year. There is a power that comes from singing hymns.

After that we came home and did roommate devotional. We have been reading from the BOM for a few weeks. We started from the beginning and we are at 2 Nephi 22. We are almost done with the Isaiah chapters. We read about the birth of Christ and the Second Coming. We both got a lot out of it. It was wonderful. We actually went to bed at 11:30 last night; however, I feel like I never slept. But it was an amazing Sunday and I am blessed to have had it and feel the spirit so strongly.

A Wonderfully Amazing Day

Yesterday was truly fun. I have tons of things to be grateful for.

It was fun hanging out with my roommate as usual.

Friday morning we went to breakfast together and just talked about everything.

Forum was simply amazing. The guy spoke about service and how we should acknowledge the little blessings that we have had in our lives. I have had a ton of them. I am grateful for all of them.

I went to my classes and had a ball.

Then I got to talk to my last roommate and her mom. It was fun seeing how well Kaili is and how much her family cares for me.

I am truly blessed.

My roommate also had a fun night and we stayed up until 1 am talking about it. It is a good thing that today is Saturday.

If I was a captain I would say Argh all day

This past few days has been down, up, and then down back again. I am so lucky to have such a great roommate and wonderful Home Teachers because I have been floating on thin ice for the past few weeks. With my PCOS and a blood clot in my left ovary, I have been in a ton of pain and I have a beautiful limp. I am both frustrated and annoyed at my health right now. Because of this I missed a ton of classes and work. My roommate is nice enough to bring me food when I am an in so much pain and talk to me. My Home Teachers (and random guys who are around when I fall from being in so much pain) have given me blessings. I have been messaging one of my home teachers for a few days and he always has something insightful to say.

Monday was so horrible. The Honor Council met with seven students who decided to go on a theft spree during a movie. It was horrible. I cried for like half an hour later and all during it. I just felt so bad for them and for their future. It was so horrible. After that I got sick (from my PCOS and blood clot) that night and just cried myself to bed because I did not want to wake my roommate.

Tuesday me and Prisca went to the Washington D.C. Temple on the school temple trip. It was amazing. I totally felt the Spirit. It was magnificent and gorgeous. I loved it and Prisca did as well. Later on that night I was in a lot of pain and I could not sleep. It was a good thing that I did not have class until 12:30.

Today I was angry and mad. I probably should not be but I just could not take it anymore. I have been trying so hard to just look at the bright side and not think about the bad. But because I was ignoring my feelings everything came out all at once. I lost my job thanks to my health. I failed my first paper test in Biology (D+) that I studied like crazy for and thought I did a good job on. In America and the Enlightenment, they talked about how the English settlers killed all of the Indians (for the better of mankind) and Friday we are talking about African American slavery. Really! Now! Seriously! Why?! I just got so upset. I cannot deal with anymore. I am tired and I want to just give up.

I am suppose to be strong but I am irritated at everything. But I am trying to follow the Prophet. I will be more grateful. I am grateful for my friends, my roommate, my family, the Priesthood, and temples. I am grateful for little acts of miracles- like the awesome message my Home Teacher wrote me and all of the people who helped me get to SVU and for missionaries bringing me the gospel. I am grateful for the plan of salvation and most importantly the Atonement. I am grateful for life.