That Awkward Transition

So I am in the midst of preparing to go to university and thought it appropriate to end my travelogue of the mission by sharing something that I learned from the mission. Here I will share three things that I learned from my mission:

1. I learned that this work is not about me. I am just the vessel and the tool but Heavenly Father is the miracle worker. I do not know these people yet He does. He knows their name and their character. He knows who is ready to hear the gospel and who is not. He knows what to say for them to become interested in the Gospel. He knows what their fears are and how to help them. He knows what they need. I do not know any of these things. However, God has given me the Holy Ghost to direct me and to tell me all of these things. No matter how much I may look at myself and say that I have accomplished this or that, I haven't, Heavenly Father has through me.

 

2. I have learned what the miracle of the Atonement truly is. I am not perfect. The truth is no one is. The purpose of missionary work is to get everyone to partake of the Atonement. To know Christ and what He did and why He did it. He Atoned for us so that we all can have the opportunity to repent, which means change, and become more like Him. As I have served I have gotten to see my weaknesses which has allowed for me to go to Christ and beg for the Atonement to strengthen those things that I lack. A very wise person told me that the missionary name tag gives me the license to do things that I would not do... such as talk to complete strangers, be happy and perky all of the time, to invite members to give us referrals, etc. I have gotten to do those things and it is only through the Atonement that I can be a better person than I ever have been. President has said that there is no comfort is change and there is no change is comfort. That is so true. Each transfer I have changed in something and I tell you that none of that change has come easy. But as I exercise my faith in the Savior, He has strengthened me to change.

 

3. I have learned the importance of not looking back. With the mission change I catch myself either comparing President Wilson to President Riggs or comparing my current area to previous areas and each time that I do it leaves me frustrated or angry that I am in the Virginia Richmond Mission.  I would think about what I have done wrong to be placed here instead of thinking of the blessings that have come as a result. In the past few weeks as I talk to members and they remind me that I am leaving I reflect on my mission goals and my mission constitution and why I came out here. And I realize how blessed I have really been. I think about how much I love Sister Hammond and how she has helped me and I think about the sisters that I am over and how I have been a blessing to them and they to me. I think about the members and how much I love them. Last night, while talking to Sister Hammond I realized that there is not other place that I'd rather be than serving along side her. Had you asked six months ago if I would love the Virginia Richmond Mission I would say NO but ask me now and I'd say that I love it more than anyone could ever know. This is where I learned that trusting in God means giving up your will and letting Him take control. I am so grateful for the scriptures that teach of Lot's wife and Laman and Lemuel who spent their entire lives murmuring and prideful.

Joy to the World and Blitz with the YSA ward

This week has been a pretty weird week to say the least. On Tuesday we had district meeting and during our meeting we each went around the room and shared our converstion story. It was so amazing. Everyone's conversion is different yet it all has led us to the same place, a mission. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father in putting us all here and helping us to strengthen our testimonies as we serve him faithfully.

 

On Tuesday we had a lesson with a woman name Joy. She is a single mother whose husband was deported back to Mexico. She has two of the cutest boys ever! I love her so much. I am excited to continue to teach her. She really wants this gospel. She already wants t get baptized!

 

On Friday we went on an adventure trying to find a house of a former investigator. It was like craziness. We were driving up the Shenandoah Mountains almost at 1100 elevation. It was so much fun until... we didn't end up finding the house. Lame! We called but they didn't answer. So sad yet so worth it.

 

On Saturday we did exchanges with the Charlottesville YSA Sisters and then did a blitz with our zone in their area. They are struggling with finding new investigators so four other sets of missionaries and the Charlottesville YSA Elders came and we all took over Charlottesville. It was so much fun. I love serving with other missionaries. It is so much fun and you get a lot of things accomplished. That night I got a letter from my mom that freaked me out so I called President Wilson. I got a Priesthood Blessing from the zone leaders that calmed my entire frame. It was so amazing! I am so grateful for the Priesthood and that it was restored to allow for 20 year old men to administer to me and say the words that God wants to say to me.

 

Next week is going to be super crazy we have zone conference on Thursday (which we have to train at, it's going to be hilarious we hope we don't get in trouble), Tuesday/ Wednesday we will do exchanges, Friday we are going on exchanges with the Spanish missionaries, and Saturday is the day of service and the relief society broadcast! Busy, busy, busy.

 

Spiritual thoughts:

 

This week I studied both 'His Grace is Sufficient' by Brad Wilcox and 'Broken Things to Mend' by Elder Holland:

 

In Broken Things to Mend Elder Holland says:

 

 It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases from any number of scenes in the Savior’s mortal ministry. He is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where youare going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”

 

He continues:

Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, “Come unto me,” He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.

 

I know that He hears us and He knows us. As we lean on His Atonement we can and will be healed. I know that He answers prayers.

 

As I have read the speech by Brad Wilcox one part in particular has been on my mind everyday for the past four days:

In all of these cases there should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, “continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).
I constantly want to improve and get better but I find myself hitting those 'wrong notes' now I am realizing that it's okay to not be perfect right now. I need not beat myself up when I make those mistakes. I can and will be better but it does take time and it really is that process. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who helps us and who sent His Son to die for us so that we can have access to the Atonement and to His Grace.

Sisters Meeting, Crazy Week of Exchanges, and a Baptism

This week was a super busy week. On Tuesday we had Sisters Meeting with all of the sister missionaries in the Richmond Virginia Mission. It was very interesting. One of the speakers talked to us about mental and spiritual well being. She talked about how our personal worth is not dependent on our circumstances. She said that no matter where we are or what we are doing on worth is the same. She slammed a pole onto the ground and said: "I will not bend. My worth doesn't move, it doesn't change." It has impacted the past few days as I have tried to constantly remind myself of my needs.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we went on exchanges with four sets of missionaries. We were so exhausted when we got home Friday night. It was so crazy but it was super fun. I got to teach in Spanglish with a set of Spanish missionaries. It was a lot of fun. On Saturday we went on two- two hour exchanges with sister missionaries in Charlottesville, it was a lot of fun. 

On Saturday Robin Blanco was baptized. The sisters had been meeting with her for a month. I had the opportunity to teach her some lessons before she was baptized as well. She is so great. Her baptism was super hilarious. Satan really did not want her to be baptized. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. It was so stressful but seeing her finally, after two hours, enter the water and partake of the ordinance of baptism made it all worth it. 

I am so happy that I am here with Sister Hammond. She really is amazing. Everyday I learn from her how to be better. She is so great at loving the sisters and insuring that their needs are taken care of. Sometimes I get stuck in thinking about our area that I forget to take the time to really get to know the sisters and seek for revelation on how to help them.

Spiritual Thought: 

This week I have been focusing on my, and the sisters, spiritual well being. I have been reading the talk 'You Matter to Him' by President Uchtdorf and I am still studying the topic of Sacrifice. I have also been deciphering and personalizing the hymn 'I am a Child of God.' All of these things have been great sources of strength.

Sister Training Leader and Sacrifice

This week has been a week of adventure as I have taken on the responsibilities of Sister Training Leader. We are over seven sets of sisters and they are so fun. Two sets live close by (the neighboring area) however the other sets live 35-80) miles away! Because of this we are not often in our area (maybe two- three days per week) so when we are in our area we have to work really hard. Three of the sisters that we are over are struggling a lot so we have spent a lot of time in their area helping them and working with their other leaders and president. But it has been great to fervently pray to Heavenly Father to receive revelation for these sisters and then say the things that they need to hear. 

We had a baptism here of a part-member family. The Sisters had been teaching Natalie for months and she was baptized on Friday. I want to help her husband get back active. She seems like a great woman so I hope that she stays on the right path and will be a blessing for him. 

I am excited to continue in this adventure with Sister Hammond. Heavenly Father put us together for a reason. She is so funny just like me and we really get a long well. I am helping her with some things and she is helping me. I love her so much and I hope that we stay together for my last transfer. 

Spiritual Thought: 

This week I have been studying 'Sacrifice' along with the rest of the mission. President Wilson wanted us to. So as I have been studying I have seen the significance of the Atonement and what a huge sacrifice that was for our Savior. I have also studied the sacrifice of Joseph Smith. He sacrificed his entire life for the gospel to be brought forth. 

I decided that I wanted to sacrifice something for my Savior as gratitude and also be come closer to Him. I am going to sacrifice my comfort zone. There are those little sins of omission and even commission that we do everyday. We find a reason to continue to do them and even rationalize about them. I have determined now to do away with them! They hinder me from being closer to my Father in Heaven and even cause my Savior pain. Why would I ever want to do that? I am choosing this moment right now to stop doing/ not doing those things that will stop my progression towards exaltation. With the help of Heavenly Father I know that I can become better. 

Miracles and Setbacks

This week has been a very crazy week. We have seen many miracles and a minor set back. On Monday we moved into an apartment that is more central to our area and also to save miles. It was so sad to leave the Johnston’s because we love them so much. Our apartment is in a perfect spot and we have seen some great miracles from it! On Tuesday, the day after, we were jogging around the complex and a woman came up to me and asked if I wanted a Mary Kay magazine. I said that I would love to but I cannot as I am a missionary for my church. She looked at me and said “From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint”? I said yes we just moved in. She asked where we moved in to and I told her then she abruptly ended the conversation and left. Two hours later we get a knock on our door and it was her! Sister Wassinik, in her marine uniform, had been thinking about coming back to church but didn’t know how to find out where the church was located. We have seen so many wonderful miracles from our move and have saved tons of miles and just might make it through this month.

Another Miracle is Stephany. Today she is currently flying to California. Argh! I am going to miss her so much. Everyday we have visited her and got her excited for the adventure in Maywood. Yesterday we had our last lesson and both me and Sister Theurer felt prompted to have a mini testimony meeting. It was so wonderful. I love her so much and I am so sad to see her go but I know that we were suppose to meet her and she is suppose to go to Maywood and be part of the congregation there. She is going to make a great member of that ward. They need her there.

On Friday we had dinner and a lesson with Tricia. It was so sad. Last Sunday she did not come to church and we found out that it was because her husband yelled at her and said that he really will divorce her if she becomes a member. It was so sad. She is so scared. We have been praying about it a lot lately. We are still going to visit her and teach her but we are putting her more in the Relief Society hands. They have been taking good care of her. She has so many wonderful friends of the church.

I am still studying consecration and the talk ‘Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father’. I have gained so much insight from the talk it is amazing. One part in particular has been a source of comfort these past few days:

 As one’s will is increasingly submissive to the will of God, he can receive inspiration and revelation so much needed to help meet the trials of life. In the trying and very defining Isaac episode, faithful Abraham “staggered not … through unbelief” (Rom. 4:20). Of that episode John Taylor observed that “nothing but the spirit of revelation could have given him this confidence, and … sustained him under these peculiar circumstances” (in Journal of Discourses, 14:361). Will we too trust the Lord amid a perplexing trial for which we have no easy explanation? Do we understand—really comprehend—that Jesus knows and understands when we are stressed and perplexed? The complete consecration which effected the Atonement ensured Jesus’ perfect empathy; He felt our very pains and afflictions before we did and knows how to succor us (see Alma 7:11–12; 2 Ne. 9:21). Since the Most Innocent suffered the most, our own cries of “Why?” cannot match His. But we can utter the same submissive word “nevertheless …” (Matt. 26:39).

 Heavenly Father is so aware of us. Of course, He sent His son to Atone for us. I am learning so much about the Atonement and about how much He truly, truly cares for each of us.

Miracles with Young Men, Stephany, Young Women and Consecration

            This week has been an adventure. On Monday, we accidently tracted into a part-member family who just moved into the ward. The mother wants us to begin teaching her son the missionary lessons! Heavenly Father does answer prayers. We have been praying for young men aged people to begin investigating because our ward does not have many young men. Cordell is 13 years old! On Wednesday while checking on a potential investigator we met his grandson Darell who is 16 years old! And tonight we have an appointment with a potential that is 17 years old. Heavenly Father has shown so many times that if we have a righteous desire and truly work to accomplish it, He will provide.

            Another miracle is one of our investigator’s Stephany, who is moving to California on the 26^th, came to church and had such a great time. She even bore her testimony in Relief Society. Her heart has been prepared and I know that she will be a wonderful addition to the ward in Maywood. She is so pure and so humble. She taught us what it means to repent! She is spiritually amazing.

            On Thursday we taught the Young Women about missionary work. It was so fun to be there again. I love the Young Women’s program. I know that when I was in Young Women I felt important and loved. The girls here are different from each other yet they are together and they love each other. They can share their testimony and their trials. They can and are a source of strength and support.

            This week I have been studying the word ‘Consecration’ and I have been implementing that into my life. It is a process, definitely nothing that can be done overnight. It is a submission of will. I am striving everyday to submit my will to His to allow for me to change my heart and become the person that He needs me to be. I am not even close to being there but it is the striving that matters. In the talk “Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father” by Elder Neal A. Maxwell he says:

Whenever Church members speak of consecration, it should be done reverently while acknowledging that each of us “come[s] short of the glory of God,” some of us far short (Rom. 3:23). Even the conscientious have not arrived, but they sense the shortfall and are genuinely striving. Consolingly, God’s grace flows not only to those “who love [Him] and keep all [His] commandments,” but likewise to those “that [seek] so to do” (D&C 46:9).

I am seeking to keep all of the commandments and most especially to see myself not as whom I am currently but who I can become and then do everything that I can to become that person. I know that Heavenly Father loves me despite my faults and will continue to help me to overcome those faults.

Investigators, Church, and The Atonement

This week has been a week of amazing things! We received three new investigators! It is so amazing. This work really is hastening. I have learned a lot about Sister Theurer she and I are a lot alike! It is so awesome. We have been able to help each other and strengthen each other. I love this work so much. I am so excited to continue to work with her and help her.

 We had a miracle dinner with a less-active in our ward. She previously was really mean to me and Sister Patten when we were here and then when Sister Silva and I visited her last transfer she invited us over for dinner the next time that we were in the area. Sister Theurer and I took her up on that offer on Thursday and sat down with her. She was so nice and so open and we were able to share a message with her.

 The lesson in Relief Society yesterday really struck a cord with me. It all started in Gospel Principles when Elder Canova (zone leader) shared that we often look at ourselves as not being good enough or just looking down on ourselves. That is so true. I am so much like that. Then in Relief Society Sister Hurlburt gave a lesson on ‘Seeing Others Not as They Are but as They Can Become.’ It really did help me. Sister Theurer and I got to bear our testimony of missionary work and seeing others as they can become and the entire time I just thought about how far I have come and how much further I have to go. Heavenly Father loves us even when we do not love ourselves. Heavenly Father is so aware of us.

 During my studies I have been focusing on the power of the Atonement. I cannot write all of the things that I have discovered but some of my thoughts flow towards the thoughts behind the act itself. Christ came to Earth knowing that He would die. He came here on a conscious of dying so young. Yet, He continued to come, continued to teach knowing full well that his teaching would be the cause of his death. I am so grateful for my Savior being so kind to give his life for me. I am so grateful for all that He did for me.