I stepped back and let Heavenly Father help guide me. I decided that I did not want to have this anger inside of me (it just blocked out the Spirit and I lost focus on my mission). I understand that people are ignorant- they have not been around people of different ethnicity. I cannot get angry at them for something that they do not realize is wrong. Our mindsets are different- I have struggled through life thinking that I cannot accomplish anything because of my skin color- while they have struggled with other things (I do not know what but we all have trials). It makes sense that I will be extremely sensitive to their remarks and they will be oblivious to how their comments can hurt me.
After my blow-up against Brigham Young University-Idaho and my roommates, I was able to get involved with school organizations. I talked to the Dean of Students about my concerns (and hate of the school); however, he helped me to see things in a different light. He says that since I wish that these students can see things through my eyes, why don’t I help them? He got me in contact with the Student Association. They have an African Heritage Association, that needs a President and they are in the process of interviewing candidates, and if I want to I can be on the board and help get things up and running. Although, I do not know a lot about my actual African heritage, it will be nice to learn and also help the students to see people of color as more good-for-nothing prisoners, drug addicts/ dealers, and prostitutes. Not only am I now getting involved in the African Heritage Association but I am also on the Student Involvement Representatives, today is my first day (so I will let you know what my actual job is). I was told that we go to apartments and tell them about the different associations and activities available on campus. It will help me to get to know other people.
After meeting with the Dean, I was able to speak to both of my teachers about my feelings. They understood how I felt and apologize for the actions of the students. They reiterated that these students are mostly from all-Caucasian neighborhoods and probably have never seen any other kind of ethnicity. I agreed and thanked them for talking to me. I was never angry at the teachers, just the ignorant students.
I then was able to meet President Clark (the president of the university). That was intimidating but awesome. He was so very nice and kind. He talked to me about his son-in-law who is Hispanic/ Mexican. He gave me great advice for how to deal with the students and roommates. He told me that the best thing is to let them know how I feel in class (“I do not agree with that and this is why…” or “I am a minority and this is some of the experiences that I have that are not what the media portrays us to be.”). He told me to never be afraid to stand up against their opinions or if I do agree but I do not agree with the “why it is the way it is” let them know (“Although Detroit may have a lot of bad officials I believe that it has to do with … and not with their skin color.). He then told me to do service for my roommates instead of being angry with how they treated me. He said that more than likely they were having a bad day and I just happened to get caught in the cross fire. I took the trash out and wrote them a note saying that I loved them (Sunday they apologized for what they said and they, indeed, were having a hard time). He is such a smart man.
On Sunday I also went to the Dean of Students home for dinner. He has two teenaged daughters and a four year old son. We had rice, meatballs, orange pudding, and pina colata cake. It was awesome. Then we played Just Dance on the Wii Kinect. It was awesome and it was good to get away from the apartment too.
Monday was a normal school day. But we had Family Home Evening (FHE) at Brother Mooso’s amazing home. It is so big and so beautiful. Our apartment had the lesson (McKenzie talked about how we should really know who Jesus Christ is and find a way to bear our testimony about him). We had yummy tacos. After that we played “Murder in the Dark.” I got killed three times! It was so much fun (3 killers and 18 people -including brother Mooso and 17 students). As we left to go home the boys, in their car, played Chinese Fire drill at every red light. I have never seen it before so I freaked out and my roommates laughed their heads off at me. It was so much fun.
I got my (almost) one month report card. I have a 87% (B+) in Psychology, 97% (A+) in Human Resource Management, 100% (A+) in Mission Preparation, 98% (A+) in Computer Basics, and 100% (A+) in American Foundations! I totally bombed my very first test in Psychology which coincided with the day that I got my mission call so I was not really in the right mind-set to take the test. Since then I have received an A on all of my Psychology tests and I am slowly but surely bringing up my grade.
As you can see, I am doing much better both in and out of school. Life is great! I cannot wait to go on my mission. I have $1000 saved for my mission necessities. I cannot wait to get there and let those people know just how much Heavenly Father loves them and can change their lives (just like he has done for me).
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