It is pretty late here at BYU-Idaho but my mind is wandering and thinking about everything that is currently going on in my life. I am, of course, preparing to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and all the while preparing for finals. How the time passed so quickly. I seriously have two more weeks and then school is over. How crazy is that?
I have been having a really tough time here (with some sprinkles of loveliness). I think that it has something to do with that sneaky devil but I cannot help the way that I feel. Sometimes I feel so insignificant here on this big campus. This past weekend, to get my mind off of everything, I went to Utah and hung out with my old roommate Kaili. She is awesome I just adore her family. They are so nice to me. However, upon arriving home and getting back into the routine, I attended my American Foundations class. Well, it hasn't changed. I have always felt so weird in this class. I kind of feel like he spends the entire class period describing how much he dislikes the government. Well today he broached the subject of the poor. A student made an insensitive comment and the teacher responded in a way that made me a little upset (okay a lot). I talked to my family, calmed down, went to the gym, and sent an email explaining a little about how I felt. Well, he instead made it seem like I was "overreacting." Good job, now I am even more upset because I felt like he didn't even care. He went on to throw doctrine at me and made me feel even more small. I replied, in an okay I didn't mean to offend you way and I feel like it went nowhere. I read my scriptures and came to the conclusion that my life and experiences are a little abnormal by LDS standards and because of this my viewpoints are different. Maybe he has never met a Diamond before and just does not know how to respond, so he gets defensive. I don't know. At this point all I can do is take a breather and try to not choose to be offended (that is a saying that I am getting tired of- I know that it is a choice to get offended but you know what I have feelings and sometimes those feelings get hurt by what you CHOOSE to say).
1 comment:
Diamond, you rock! It's a very brave thing to speak up for yourself in an academic setting when you're bringing in your lived knowledge as a contrast to someone else's book knowledge. You may never know what positive effects you have on those people whose viewpoint matches your own but who have not yet found their own voice. The majority of LDS nowadays are pretty conservative and value self-reliance, so it's hard for some of us to see the systemic problems that contribute to poverty and keep some people down despite their best efforts. You're going to do great work as a missionary, and I hope that you'll get to have experiences with members whose views are more nuanced than those you have experienced recently. We love you, and all the best with your finals!
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