Memorial Day

This Memorial Day hit me very hard. I do not know why. Maybe it is the hot and humid weather that got me going. All I can do is think about the wars (past and present). Sometimes it makes me want to cry, other times it makes me proud to be an American. In politics every one says "I want my soldiers home" or "I am glad that they are fighting for our freedom". I have no idea what the soldiers think of fighting a war.

So every Memorial Day, I talk to my uncle on the phone and thank him for his services in Vietnam. I thank him for giving up his time and protecting us. It almost becomes automatic- no feelings behind it.

But today as I for the first time went out to eat. Seeing the flags on poles, homes, and buildings, seeing other people walk around as if today is any other day. I am inclined to well...

What makes a soldier a hero?

One's strength?

One's courage?

A big gun?

A fast plane?

A heavy ATV?

A willingness to give anything

to protect their country?

Their beliefs?

What makes a soldier a strong?

Overpowering the weak?

A strategic plan against disorganization?

Outsmarting the ignorant?

Fighting the cowards?

Facing the unknown?

Ignoring Pain?

What makes a soldier memorable?

The noticeable battle scars?

A missing limb?

A slight limp?

Mental instability?

Sleepless nights?

Crazy rants?

Unrecognizable face?

Neat attire?

Nameless graves?

What makes a soldier a soldier?

Getting in the Swing of Things.

So I just finished writing 2 Papers! Oh how I missed school... NOT!! I had my first class Monday. Macomb Community College is not as bad as I thought. I love my interesting Sociology Class. There is never a dull day there. Everyday we talk about all of the controversial things that are going on in the world. Of course everyone has their own opinions- that's what makes it interesting. My class is very eclectic: a convicted felon, a few Detroiters, 2 Nigerians, 2 Bosnians, an Iraqi, 2 Afghanistan/ Iraq soldiers, 2 Police Officers (studying), an aspiring Priest (seriously), 2 Pre-medicine students, 3 Communication students, 2 know-it-alls, and a female Middle-east American. Yep. I love my class.

Because it is only a 3 week class, it is a fast-paced class. I have a Current Event due every Friday (3), a group Presentation and paper due this Tuesday (done), and three papers. I finished my first paper (that is due Wednesday). The paper is about the importance of family in religion and how it is different from the worldly view of family. It is a 5 page paper (including title page). I think it is pretty good; however, I am going to ask Mike to read it over for me. I do not quite like the way the teacher does things. I LOVE structure and order, I freak out when I do not have that. He is extremely unstructured. His idea of giving us a grading rubric is "Paper must be objective and subjective and must be in APA format." That's it!

The other 2 papers "Homosexuality" and "Race" are due June 6 and June 8 (2 days from each other). The group presentation is due Tuesday. Our group received the problem "Socialization from the perspective of life" meaning the problems that people have as they age. My subtopic is Toddlers- young children (basically 2-10). I decided to do my part of the presentation on stuttering. My nephew Shaun has that speech impediment. I only have 5 minutes to talk about it and about how we "as a community" can help children with speech impediments become more social.

I have had a ton of things to think about. Right now, I no longer have a job. My temporary job ended May 20. I do not know what I am going to do financially. I have applied everywhere and I am getting the run around. I need a job so bad. I am also thinking about other stuff and so far I keep getting answers that does not make since. There is just so much going on in my head. I worry way too much.

So far so...

So for whatever reason, I have yet to give an update about my life. As usual life is well, life. However, there have been some HUGE changes- for the best I hope.

I am no longer a Detroit resident. No. I am now a suburban girl. Well only by a few blocks. I am now staying with Hallie and Mike. For those of you who do not who they are, well they are like my rescuers. They have been here for me since I first began looking into the church. Mike was the Branch President when I was baptized and Hallie just has that nurturer mentality. I think she could sense that this new convert had TONS of issues and needed someone to lean on. Living with my parents just became so unbearable. I will not go into that. I have been here for almost 3 weeks. They have two adorable children who I just love to pieces. So far it’s been good.

I start classes at Macomb Community College on May 23. I will take Sociology (South Campus) until June 10. You say but that's just 3 weeks. Well it is for 4 hours everyday! Now I bet you aren't jealous. Then I have Intro to Chemistry (Center Campus) June 20- July 13 a 4 1/2 hour class. I am excited for them though. I need intro to Chemistry to prep me for the real thing. I think I will rather enjoy them.

What I will not enjoy is the 1 1/2 hour bus ride everyday. Especially like days today. I had the most interesting/ angering bus rides today. I went to Macomb Mall to look for jobs and then I needed to go to the college to get my Sociology books. The bus ride to Macomb was funny. The woman was talking to everyone over the sun! She told all of her business and other people’s business as well. I do not like it when people talk about me to other people- even if it is the truth. I am not that open of a person. Hearing this woman talk about herself (not in a good way) and other people just made me irritated. Good thing I brought a pamphlet/ excerpt, “The Holy Temple” by President Boyd K. Packer, with me or I would have exploded. I then went to the Mall to apply for jobs. Then I thought that the bus that I needed to get to the College was already at the bus stop so I ran (as best I could with two bags) to the bus stop. I tripped and smacked my face on the ground (kind of funny, no scars) only to find out that my bus wasn’t coming for another 10 minutes. That bus ride made me furious. I asked the bus driver if she would be able to tell me when we got to my stop. She said sure and another woman was getting off there too. The whole time she was arguing with someone and talking to someone else. The she said “Hayes” and people started getting off the bus. I asked her if this was my stop and she said “no, this is Center Campus”. Only after we passed the campus did she say oh this is South Campus… and she kept driving! I had to tell her that I NEEDED that stop. Finally she let me off. How is it that people like them can get jobs and not me? Oh that’s not the end of it. I ended up waiting over 30 minutes for the bus to get me back home; however, the bus that was suppose to come broke down. I need a car. I need a job so that I can get a car.

I will get a job- eventually. I love and appreciate all of the people who have helped me and continue to help me. I am very grateful to Mike and Hallie. They literally have been my angels in disguise. They have done so much for me. In less than 2 months they went from a house of 3, to a house of 4 (baby girl Eliza), to a house of 5! They had her little room/ father’s office all set up for Eliza and then they had to change it to my room/ Mike’s office. I know that it’s tough for them, especially with me being unemployed. I have to rely on them for everything. I hate it! I hate feeling like a freeloader. But I am thinking positive. I mean things are working out. I need this house. I need the Spirit that I feel here. For the first time ever I was able to just go downstairs and ask for a blessing. I obviously did not have that at my home (me being the only member) and it such a wonderful feeling having the Priesthood here. I just enjoy having that.

I also appreciate everyone who has been so wonderful to me. I find it difficult to tell people face to face what problems I am having. No one in my Branch or Stake knew how bad it was at home until the Spirit warned me that if something didn’t change I would go down a road that I would possibly not be able to return from. It is nice to be able to tell someone “Hey I’m having a bad day, can you help me”? I also appreciate my wonderful Branch for making things happen. Random but although I hardly ever speak to them just the thought of that wonderful Christmas Break in Utah, just makes me smile. No I am NOT moving to Utah- Idaho yes, Utah NEVER. Kaili has no idea how much of an impact her parents have had on me. They are so funny and so very spiritual. I think about my first “Father’s Blessing” and also wonderful talks I have had there. I actually still read it; although, I probably should have found someone else to give me a Father’s Blessing for this year. But still it has helped me.

I think that his year will be something great… maybe even extraordinary. No I am not getting married… at least not yet.