Everything is Falling Into Place

As I am typing this, I am full of emotion ( the usual: worried with a mix of happy). I just got back from having a meeting the Stake President Lantz. He was interviewing me so that I can go a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He, of course, was intense with a mixture of funny. I am very happy that everything is falling into place: I am leaving in a month to go to BYU-Idaho, have a few job interviews lined up, and now getting my mission call in the next two weeks. But now I have no control over: if the plane will not kill me when I am traveling to Idaho, if I will even like BYU-Idaho, if I will get the job, or where I will go on my mission (could be Texas, not Utah- please not Utah, Antarctica, Belgium- oh yes Belgium, France- not too shabby, or China but the point is I do not know where). There is just so much that I do not know. I know, I know, trust in Heavenly Father. I do... I just do not trust other people like the pilot, strangers in Idaho, unknown mission companions, just people okay! But I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants for me. This is what I want from me.

I have done a complete 360 in my life- no, I have never been a bad person but I have changed. I have gone from contempt with my life to hopeful and I like it! I like the direction that my life is headed. I have come from nothing, believed in nothing, gone nowhere, and wanted nothing to knowing that I come from Greatness; believing in myself, my capabilities, and my desires; going to Virginia, will go to Idaho, and then a mission; and I want what is best for me. I want to live a righteous life and graduate from BYU-Idaho, get married, have children, and make something out of myself. I want to close my eyes and not think of the bad things. I want to not have to make up "a fantasy life" in my head because it is too difficult to imagine a real man wanting to be with me. I want to breathe and not wonder if this is all a figment of my imagination. I just want to know if this is for something and not all for nothing. I do not want to come back from my mission and some how have my walls crashing down. I do not want to hear "there is no one out there for you" or "you are not good enough for this" or "you can never have this." Brain please shut up.

It's official... I really am leaving

I have been so preoccupied with school and work that I have not had time to notice the time going by. Yesterday I had a reality check. My boss asked me if I had received my schedule for next semester. We started talking about my church and what not when she asked what classes I was taking. I let her know that I could not register until November 16th and she replied that that is today!

That means that first: I have to register and second: there is only one month left in the semester! That is crazy. I feel like summer just ended not winter is here. I have so much to do and so little time. On a side note I got my first B in Chemistry! I have struggled this entire semester with Intro to Organic and Biochemistry. If this is how difficult the intro is, how difficult will the real deal be? Maybe I have to rethink my major. I got my "progress" report for the class and I have a 82% that is like a B- I feel like a failure; however, there is a another test and the final left so let's just hope that I can do better and pull out a solid B.

I finally registered for classes and I am excited for them. Here is my schedule for BYU-Idaho:

General Psychology (online class with Sister Amy Morris)

Human Resource Management with Brother D. Joshua Holt

American Foundations with Brother Ryan S. Johnson

Missionary Prep with Brother David Christensen

Science Foundation (online class with Sister Lynn S. Durtschi

Computer Basics (online class with Brother Raymond Dean Allen)

and Medical Law and Ethics with Brother Dan C. Dummar)

All together I am taking a full load (16 credits). By the way, I think it is funny that they call their professors Brother and Sister and not Professor. The classes that I have to take in order to start the program are Anatomy and EMT Basics; however, I cannot start them until after I get back from my mission. But the classes that I am taking next semester I have to take as graduation requirements. I am going to enjoy taking these classes, I am ready to get started.

Speaking of mission, everything is falling into place. Last Sunday I had my meeting with President Chirolla and he sent everything to President Lantz (the Stake President) I am hoping that I will get my call by next month because I leave December 31st and it would be nice to open it surrounded by people that I know.

The Dental Experience from Hockey Sticks! and a Little Bit of Life

A couple of weeks ago I had a dental exam. The dental hygienist was amazing and she told me that since I do not numb well, they would "put me under" when I get my two fillings. Well, today the doctor told me that they do not "put people under" for fillings. It took them 15 times (5 tries with three pokes each) and I was finally numb for the first fillings. While doing the procedure, the doctor told me that I had a "psychotic" tongue so each time she moved the hygienist had to move my tongue out of the way (she did this forcefully). The doctor then called in two more hygienist to "help" but the only thing they did was hurt me (for instance, one of the hygienist stabbed my tongue, tooth, and gums with the "mirror" numerous times, she even complained that she could not see and yet she "sucked" my jaw until I could barely breathe)! Of course, by the time it came to my second filling I was no longer numb. Well they were too busy talking to each other to notice that I was "SCREAMING" that I was no longer numb. Finally the doctor heard me and they poked me six more times until I was numb again. Needless to say, I am glad that it's over. Now everything is done and soon I will have my meetings so that I can go on a mission.

School and work have me so busy that I barely have time to rest. Last weekend I was able to have a breather. I helped Hallie with her Mom to Mom Sale. I was even able to spend a little bit of time with the kids. They are so adorable and they just brighten up my day. I cannot wait for the time where I get to work with little ones. However, school is another thing. Chemistry is going to be the death of me. The Coroner will write: "Death by Intro to Organic Chemistry." It is a tough class. Maybe I will be a therapist instead of a P.A. then I will not have to take any more chemistry classes. I have an A in both Marriage and the Family and Astronomy 1. I love my job at the college. My coworkers are so nice.

I have a cell phone now! It only took 2 years to replace my old one. If you want my number let me know. It is a MetroPCS phone, not the best service in the world, but better than no phone at all I suppose.

Sunday during Fast and Testimony Meeting I realized that I do not have long before I head off to BYU-Idaho. I am both excited and nervous about the whole thing. I hope, no I know, that it is going to be a wonderful experience. I am going to spend two nights in Utah staying with my Stake Relief Society President's family. Then I head off to Idaho for classes. I will leave for my mission sometime after April 6th, when Winter Semester is over. I cannot wait to see what Heavenly Father has planed for me.