Feeling Spiritual in a Tough Time

The hospital has been my best friend lately. Not because I want it to be but because I keep going there. I have been there twice in the span of one week. The first time the abscesses under my arm got infected (it is not that serious but it is taking FOREVER to heal) the last time (yesterday) was pretty serious. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it flared up. This was the worst pain it has caused me since being diagnosed with it two years ago. The pain was so severe that a the strongest (and safest) pain pill took three hours to take affect (which normally takes effect almost immediately). It was so severe that I am still limping and was put on bed rest.

However, instead of doing like I normally do (cry) I put my trust in the Lord. Maybe it is because I am reading a book that Hallie gave me (Trusting in the Lord by Elder Holland). Maybe it is because I am fellowshipping my roommate and dealing with my family issues and thus I do not have time to wallow in my misery. Maybe it is because I am forcing myself to do better in school so I have to study. I do not know. All I know is that Christ is here with me, he knows my needs. He knows that I am trying to be a better person, friend, and member.

Yesterday I was given a Priesthood Blessing and everything that I needed to hear was spoken. Today was the Relief Society Broadcast and I was able (although in pain) to walk down the horrible hill to the chapel and listen to the messages that was given. I was able to feel God's love for me so strongly that I know no matter what happens I am His daughter and that will never change. I know that as long as I live righteously I will be with Him again. I know that the sun will somehow shine and this trial will pass.

Tomorrow I have the opportunity to fast. I am so appreciative of Joseph Smith being given the keys to restore the gospel so that I can fast. I am humbled by the thought of it. I love this gospel and the wonderful scriptures. I am able to read verses on how to overcome adversity and trials. I am able to feel the love God has for me. I am happy that I have so many people who care for me and love me. I am grateful for friends and wonderful and meaningful friendships. I am also grateful for Priesthood Blessings and just the Priesthood. How wonderful it is to know that God loves us so much that he gives us men who can comfort and bless us when we need it most. How amazing to know that my name can be put on the Temple Prayer Roll. How amazing to have a temple! How amazing to have the gospel!