If I was a captain I would say Argh all day

This past few days has been down, up, and then down back again. I am so lucky to have such a great roommate and wonderful Home Teachers because I have been floating on thin ice for the past few weeks. With my PCOS and a blood clot in my left ovary, I have been in a ton of pain and I have a beautiful limp. I am both frustrated and annoyed at my health right now. Because of this I missed a ton of classes and work. My roommate is nice enough to bring me food when I am an in so much pain and talk to me. My Home Teachers (and random guys who are around when I fall from being in so much pain) have given me blessings. I have been messaging one of my home teachers for a few days and he always has something insightful to say.

Monday was so horrible. The Honor Council met with seven students who decided to go on a theft spree during a movie. It was horrible. I cried for like half an hour later and all during it. I just felt so bad for them and for their future. It was so horrible. After that I got sick (from my PCOS and blood clot) that night and just cried myself to bed because I did not want to wake my roommate.

Tuesday me and Prisca went to the Washington D.C. Temple on the school temple trip. It was amazing. I totally felt the Spirit. It was magnificent and gorgeous. I loved it and Prisca did as well. Later on that night I was in a lot of pain and I could not sleep. It was a good thing that I did not have class until 12:30.

Today I was angry and mad. I probably should not be but I just could not take it anymore. I have been trying so hard to just look at the bright side and not think about the bad. But because I was ignoring my feelings everything came out all at once. I lost my job thanks to my health. I failed my first paper test in Biology (D+) that I studied like crazy for and thought I did a good job on. In America and the Enlightenment, they talked about how the English settlers killed all of the Indians (for the better of mankind) and Friday we are talking about African American slavery. Really! Now! Seriously! Why?! I just got so upset. I cannot deal with anymore. I am tired and I want to just give up.

I am suppose to be strong but I am irritated at everything. But I am trying to follow the Prophet. I will be more grateful. I am grateful for my friends, my roommate, my family, the Priesthood, and temples. I am grateful for little acts of miracles- like the awesome message my Home Teacher wrote me and all of the people who helped me get to SVU and for missionaries bringing me the gospel. I am grateful for the plan of salvation and most importantly the Atonement. I am grateful for life.