Having a testimony

Today in Relief Society we talked about being alone. It couldn't have been a better subject for me.

My testimony couldn't have come at a better time. Yes I said that right, I did not have a testimony until today.

When the missionaries came, I was at a low point in my life, so much so that I would believe anyone if they told me that there was a better life out there. I would have been Catholic if they came to me first. I didn't gain a testimony in church because I was dealing with a lot at home. I got baptized because I felt that I had to, not for the missionaries, but for me. I felt that the only thing I had was a belief that there had to be something better and nothing could get worse for me. I came to this school because I wanted to get away from all of the drama at home.

But today, during Relief Society, when all of the women bore their testimonies and I saw that I was different from most of them. I saw that I brought something here. I realized that this is where I belong. This is who I am. I can be different. I can be better. I can be anyone I want, not in the sense of I can be Brittany Jacobs, but in the sense of I can be a doctor or lawyer. I don't have to wallow in my misery; I can pick myself up. I don't have anything to prove to anyone.

For now on I am not the girl from Detroit Michigan trying to prove that I am not a statistic, or trying to hide who I am or where I am from. I am the girl whose parents are drug addicts and entire family have so many problems that there isn't enough paper in the world to describe. I am the girl who has no money and next to nothing in her dorm room an only 6 days worth of clothes. I am the girl who may not be the prettiest girl on planet Earth and definitely not the thinnest ( although I am eating healthy, at least I am trying to). I am a girl who got here with a 574 on her GED test and 19 on her ACTs. I am the girl with PCOS and psoriasis so bad she has to wear a wig that is now falling apart. I am the girl who was sexually abused as a child. And I am the girl with no lap top or phone.

But I am also the girl who loves life and knows where she is headed, well at least the directions. I am the girl who although has been through hell and back was and is able to pick myself up and dust myself off. So yes I belong here and am happy to finally realize this and truly know that I am a child of God and there is a plan for me.

I am also the girl who knows when she talks to much, so goodbye for now.