Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Raining, feeling gloomy:Do I worry too much

It's raining outside and for some reason I am sad. The rain has never done this to me before. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Every thing is okay at home and I just had a lesson with the elders.

Yesterday I met one of my visiting teachers, Sister Grange. She brought her daughter and I was so thrilled. They are very nice and I had fun.

I do not understand myself sometimes. Its like I am asking to be upset about absolutely nothing. My sister said it best, "You are a worry-aholic." I am worrying about my worrying do I worry too much do I worry to little. It is like I am stuck inside myself.

Two days ago my nephews and I hung out in my room. We ate food, drank vitamin water, and watched movies. It was so fun. But I couldn't help but worry about them. I don't want them to get into a worse situation then they are already in. I want them to graduate school and become someone. But it is so hard for them to focus they already see themselves as failures. I don't know what to do. And my family expect me to go to college, get a degree, and take care of my entire family. I am not going to be able to do that. So now I see myself as failing too. What am I going to do about them.

Everyday I worry about getting my GED. Then I worry about going on a mission, IN THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!! I have at least two and a half years to worry about it. Next I worry about going to college and getting a job which is understandable. But then I go on and worry about the people at church. Do they like me and am I unapproachable. It gets so ridiculous. I am a loose cannon sometimes.


Today I blame it on the rain. And tomorrow I will have something new to blame it on.

3 comments:

Hallie Owens said...

Well don't worry about us. Because we LOVE you! Landon can't wait till you come over next.

Diamond Evans said...

Thanx. I LOVE you too. You are the best.

The Kalcichs said...

Diamond - you are awesome! Don't worry about a thing. You are going to do great things!