Thursday, October 1, 2009

Needing a little pick me up

When I got here I knew that I would have to have a job to finish off college, I only needed $600 to pay off my tuition. That's not bad. However, when I got here I was sick for the first week and a half and just went to my classes slept and was dragged to some school functions. I was so scared and happy to be on my own that I totally forgot to look for an on campus job. Then after the week and a half I remembered and starting looking, after all it is a small campus and only a few people will need a job, well there was no on campus jobs available and I couldn't find anything around Buena Vista. I was able to bring my debt down to $400. And now there are two openings available in the school. One is in the mail room and the other is in the Cafeteria. The mail room job has interviews because so many people have applied and the cafeteria people are taking there time looking at the applications.
Well now because of my debt I can not register for the Spring semester until I either get a job or pay off my debt. I talked to my dad and he said that the money he was going to give me to buy a homecoming dress will have to go towards the debt, which I agree with, however, it is only going to be $50-$100. That is only 1/4th of the debt and I have until the end of the week to come up with it or I can kiss my education goodbye.
I feel so awful. I love it here. I mean I can do better spiritually but I have never felt like I belong to anything in my life like I do now. I don't know what to do. I have been praying and reading my scriptures everyday. I am glad Saturday is General Conference. I need Him so bad and I can just feel everything slowly starting to fall apart. I can never be happy for longer than a moment it's just doesn't happen for me.
The financial aid people have been trying to work with me and I totally understand, it's only right that I give them their money for this awesome education.
I just do not know what else to do. If I had the money I can give it to them and the problem would be over, but I don't so I am left teetering on am I staying or am I going.
Please just keep me in your prayers.

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